• Question of the Week: How Do You Stay Sober When You Go on Vacation?

Okay…. so I can’t begin to explain how much anxiety the thought of doing this has given me, but I feel like it was important to do…. so fuck it here goes nothing.

Addict. Junkie. Meth head. Tweaker. Crackhead. Pathetic. Waste of life. Worthless. Hopeless. Dope fiend. Idiot. Dumb bitch. Better off dead. Bad mom. All of these words and more were used to describe me by complete strangers, friends, and family.

All of these words would spin in my head whenever I looked in the mirror, whenever a stranger avoided my gaze, whenever someone crossed the street to avoid me, whenever I wondered if trying to get clean AGAIN was worth it.

Let me tell you something, it WAS worth it. Everyday it IS worth it . Society has such a huge stigma on addiction, so much so that the addicts themselves don’t want to even ask for help or they may end up labeled as an addict, as a junkie, as pathetic, as hopeless, worthless, and deserving of the hell they created themselves.
Make no mistake, I know I created my own personal hell by my choices but I’m not just an addict, I’m not a junkie, I’m not pathetic, I’m not hopeless or worthless and I dont deserve the hell of addiction. I was literally born this way, with an addicts brain, and it’s something I’ll battle the rest of my life. I’ve met so many beautiful, intelligent, independent, strong, loving, kind hearted recovering addicts and none of them deserved the hell of addiction.

It’s time we change our perception of addicts, of addiction. It’s time we acknowledge it for what it is, a disease of the brain. It’s time we change the way we talk about addicts, and it’s time we end the stigma.

I’d bet many of you know a struggling or recovering addict, are in recovery yourself, or are struggling against yourself every day. I want to give all of you hope. I want to let all of you that are close to addiction know that I understand.

15 Comments
  1. Amanda 5 months ago

    You’re such an inspiration girl!!

    0

  2. Franca 5 months ago

    You are an amazing lady! You right, It is time to end the stigma of addiction.

    Addiction has ravished through my family like wildfire. 
    I’ve learned that nobody is immune to it, no matter the race, gender, social status, or any other factor. It can happen to anyone, it happened to me, and once it has you in it’s clutches, it drags you to hell and it’s a long, long, long climb up out of there.
    You know the old saying “not my child” or “he’s an athlete he would never do drugs” or “my sons a good kid”. Well let me be one to say IT DOES HAPPEN TO YOU. And along the way I learned so much. My child somehow hid his addiction for several years. Not my son! And then it hits you like a freight train that is out of control. It is my son. He has an addiction. My son is an addict. They are not the child you know anymore. They will lie to you, steal from you, manipulate you, verbally abuse you, try and convince you that YOU have something wrong and need help. Your heart will hurt and you will cry many nights all night. The drugs are everywhere. Schools, ball fields, friends houses, church groups, malls, and even your own home. It’s the GOOD kids, SMART kids, the GEEKS, the POPULAR kids, the LONERS, the ATHLETES, the CHURCH GROUPS. You can trust NO One. The addict will steal your pills, their siblings meds, their Grandparents meds, friends parents meds. They will find it! It’s a SAD way to live. It’s exhausting and your life will never be the same. You’re not the one addicted to drugs. You’re the PARENT,  but it will effect you and change your life also. You love your child and would do anything to help them and save them. Your life will never be the same. My child is still alive and has been to rehab. He is clean right now but everyday you are terrified. I can’t imagine the parents that have lost their child or anyone who has lost someone to addiction. Drugs are taking way too many children.
    Sadly, addiction is consistently seen as a character defect, a bad upbringing, or poor life decisions. 
    It’s easier to judge and condemn than it is to love.
    Well, that of course changes for the person that thinks that way, when the addiction enters their family.  One in three people will experience addiction on some level, either themselves, a friend, or a relative.
    No one knows the heartache until it happens to you or a loved one.
     We all need to educate ourselves and speak out about the stigma of addiction and it’s ripple effect.
    Education is key, but some people will refuse to accept this for what it is, a disease of mind, body, and spirit. 

    Sometimes I felt guilty for eating, for sleeping in a bed or for even laughing.  It takes away most of lifes meaning. It’s a constant questioning of whether it was something I did or didnt do. I wonder how I failed him, but I can’t keep breathing for him. 

    Only God’s hand can turn it around, because everything is possible when you hold the hand of God.  Each individual has to make this choice for themselves.  The sooner, the better.  
    All addictions can be cured, drugs, gambling, overeating, etc.  When the individual makes the choice to give their lives to God.  
    God is the source of all healing. Make the decision to remain close to Him despite your emotional struggles.
    “I am the LORD, who heals you” (Exodus 15:26).

    Is it Easy? No.   Is it Doable? yes.

    Believe in yourself and everyday make babysteps to a better you. Determination is key and it’s not easy. Thumbs up to all who are fighting and winning.
    In the name of all the fallen addicts and the one’s still struggling, you may possibly be their ONLY HOPE for RECOVERY.  You must lead by example to show them that they too CAN do it, if they continue to choose not to give up.
    One day at a time, sometimes a minute.

    0

  3. Franca 5 months ago

    Addiction has ravished through my family like wildfire. 
    I’ve learned that nobody is immune to it, no matter the race, gender, social status, or any other factor. It can happen to anyone, it happened to me, and once it has you in it’s clutches, it drags you to hell and it’s a long, long, long climb up out of there.
    You know the old saying “not my child” or “he’s an athlete he would never do drugs” or “my sons a good kid”. Well let me be one to say IT DOES HAPPEN TO YOU. And along the way I learned so much. My child somehow hid his addiction for several years. Not my son! And then it hits you like a freight train that is out of control. It is my son. He has an addiction. My son is an addict. They are not the child you know anymore. They will lie to you, steal from you, manipulate you, verbally abuse you, try and convince you that YOU have something wrong and need help. Your heart will hurt and you will cry many nights all night. The drugs are everywhere. Schools, ball fields, friends houses, church groups, malls, and even your own home. It’s the GOOD kids, SMART kids, the GEEKS, the POPULAR kids, the LONERS, the ATHLETES, the CHURCH GROUPS. You can trust NO One. The addict will steal your pills, their siblings meds, their Grandparents meds, friends parents meds. They will find it! It’s a SAD way to live. It’s exhausting and your life will never be the same. You’re not the one addicted to drugs. You’re the PARENT,  but it will effect you and change your life also. You love your child and would do anything to help them and save them. Your life will never be the same. My child is still alive and has been to rehab. He is clean right now but everyday you are terrified. I can’t imagine the parents that have lost their child or anyone who has lost someone to addiction. Drugs are taking way too many children.
    Sadly, addiction is consistently seen as a character defect, a bad upbringing, or poor life decisions. 
    It’s easier to judge and condemn than it is to love.
    Well, that of course changes for the person that thinks that way, when the addiction enters their family.  One in three people will experience addiction on some level, either themselves, a friend, or a relative.
    No one knows the heartache until it happens to you or a loved one.
     We all need to educate ourselves and speak out about the stigma of addiction and it’s ripple effect.
    Education is key, but some people will refuse to accept this for what it is, a disease of mind, body, and spirit. 

    Sometimes I felt guilty for eating, for sleeping in a bed or for even laughing.  It takes away most of lifes meaning. It’s a constant questioning of whether it was something I did or didnt do. I wonder how I failed him, but I can’t keep breathing for him. 
    Only God’s hand can turn it around, because everything is possible when you hold the hand of God.  Each individual has to make this choice for themselves.  The sooner, the better.  
    All addictions can be cured, drugs, gambling, overeating, etc.  When the individual makes the choice to give their lives to God.  
    God is the source of all healing. Make the decision to remain close to Him despite your emotional struggles.
    “I am the LORD, who heals you” (Exodus 15:26).

    Is it Easy? No.   Is it Doable? yes.

    Believe in yourself and everyday make babysteps to a better you. Determination is key and it’s not easy. Thumbs up to all who are fighting and winning.
    In the name of all the fallen addicts and the one’s still struggling, you may possibly be their ONLY HOPE for RECOVERY.  You must lead by example to show them that they too CAN do it, if they continue to choose not to give up.
    One day at a time, sometimes a minute.

    0

  4. Regan C. 5 months ago

    The pictures are amazing as is your testimony. Thank you so much.
    Love to you, my sister!

    0

  5. rchap22 5 months ago

    Beautiful.
    Thank you!

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